Enough

These past couple weeks have been stupid and I’m done. I’m claiming victory in Jesus Christ.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

I know. I’m a day late but I was having a wonderful day with all the Mother’s Day festivities!

First was a wonderful church service. The sermon was about the Tabernacle and how Jesus made the old covenant void and gave us a new and improved covenant.  We read Hebrews 8-10. It was such an inspiring and affirming teaching.

There were several scriptures that I highlighted in my bible yesterday. I’ll post the list at the end so you can read for yourself. But one of the scriptures brought peace and hope to my soul:

But now Jesus, our High Priest, has been given a ministry that is far superior to old priesthood, for he is the one who mediates for us a far better covenant with God, based on better promises. Hebrews 8:6 NLT

The old laws in the Old Testament. Christ is the perfect sacrifice. He opened the throne room for EVERYONE when He died on the cross. We can have a relationship directly with God.

It was just an amazing service.

These are the verses I highlighted:
Hebrews 8:6, 13; 9:15, 10:9-14.

As far as Mother’s Day festivities, we had a cookout at my place with my mom, sisters, and grandma with our kids. We played with sidewalk chalk, ate good food, had lots of laughs, and even danced a little bit.

After everyone left, my girls and I did a little bit of shopping and got popcorn from the movie theater to eat while we watched a movie at home. Which I fell asleep half way through. I couldn’t understand how Scarlet Overkill went from loving those three minions like they were her pets to wanting to blow them up.

I hope you all had a wonderful mother’s day!! Don’t stop being awesome!!

Rant: People. What a Bunch of Bastards

So I guess it’s my turn to have a super bad day. This morning mom asked me about the arrangements about when BD was picking the girls up when I left. I told her that he only has one week of vacation. She said that’s bullcrap and got super mad. She said she was just going to make herself unavailable. Do you think that’s going to hurt BD? Nope. Because he’s unavailable too. It hurts me because no one wants to watch my girls!

So now I’m upset. I told BD to call me. I asked him if he got that week off yet. And he said he didn’t get an answer yet because of people taking off and job positions being moved around. He didn’t know if he would be getting that week off. Great!! So now I am stressing cuz I have to come up with a plan B.

I text my sisters talking about the situation. I said that everyone has dropped the ball a month before I leave when I had this planned 6 months ago. Sister #2 said she will take them for a week. I sent a text to BD saying that it’s only fair that he finds a plan B since he was the one that told me those weeks were ok before I booked my flights.

He was able to find someone for a week and I was excited to call mom and tell her it’s all planned out and she has two weeks off.

I call her and I can tell that she’s been crying. I told her the plan and she said that’s alright. She didn’t want to burden Sister #2. It’s not a burden if she is taking them willfully. I didn’t even ask Sister #2. She just offered. And then mom goes on to say how BD is a pathetic father and how his wife is not acting like a Christian. And she’s even more pissed than when I left her.

Are you kidding me!?!? I was happy to have things fixed but now I feel like shit because mom is still not happy. Ugh!!!

Moral of the story: I can not make everyone happy.

 

/end rant

Return to Paradise

The girls’ dad moved out last Monday to move back in with his wife.  They are making good efforts to stay together.  I’m so happy about this.  I hate when couples divorce because marriage is too hard for them.  Trust me.  I’m not anti-divorce. There are very good reasons to divorce. But throwing a fit like a little baby because things aren’t going your way is not a good excuse.

Early last week, I emailed his wife and said that I am so happy that they are back together and working it out.  I told her that I and my family are continuing to pray for them.  I never got a response back.  I went into overthinking mode (Imagine that!) and tried to recount my steps.  What did I do to offend her?  The last thing I said to her was when she flipped out when she heard BD had plans.  Then BD texts me and said it wasn’t cool that I told her that he had plans.  So I sent her a text back saying that I didn’t need the stress so don’t ask me about BD ever again.  I thought maybe that was too harsh.  I thought maybe I should apologize to her for being so direct while she was hurting from the break up.

I decided to text BD to see if his wife was mad at me (because I’m 12 and all).  He never answered the question but instead talked about changing his mailing address back.  So now I’m EVEN more suspicious. I told him to call me as soon as he could. He called me on my lunch break.  I asked if she was mad at me.  I said that I wanted to be her friend again.  He said “Well that’s never going to happen.”  Of course I’m on my period and super emotional.  I started crying and asked him why.  Is it because I’m gay?  I didn’t know what I did wrong. And blah blah blah!  (I feel so stupid for crying now.)  He said that she wants a separate life from my family and me.  They have a lot of stuff to still get through.  And it’s just easier for her to not be a part of my family.  

Her family and friends probably were in her ear about how weird it is to have a good relationship with the ex-girlfriend.  Even though, I am no threat whatsoever.  Her family doesn’t know I’m gay so maybe they do think it’s weird.  But I’m pretty sure she’s told her family by now that I like the ladies.  And I really can’t help that my family is awesome.  Are we weird? Definitely!  But my family is the best!  We take everyone in and it’s really hard to leave our family when we’ve accepted you into the pack.

I’m going to miss BD.  He’s been one of my best friends.  We’ve been through a lot together.  He is really an awesome dad to the girls.  I just know this new rule means hardly any time with him.  But I guess it’s normal to not spend a lot of time with your ex.  But really… who said I was normal??

Things Only an Aunt Will Understand

Just the other day I realized something very sad. I will miss my niece’s high school graduation. I’ll be in New Zealand at that time. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that when I was booking my flights.  But I am so very sad.

I told my niece and she said that she completely understands. They will have the ceremony streaming and so I can watch her get her diploma on the internet. She said that I wouldn’t be missing much.

But she doesn’t understand! I’ve known her since she was a little chunky angel baby. I’ve seen her grow into a beautiful, smart, and strong woman. She finished school early. She’s been out of school since December. She’ll be going to school to become a medical assistant in April. I am just so very very very proud of her!!

But I won’t be there to get pictures with her in her cap and gown. I won’t be there as part of her family at the graduation party. I do not like that I will be absent from all of this.  Most of you aunts know what I’m talking about!

I will watch her graduation online and hopefully Skype her during the graduation party for a little bit. It won’t be the same but that’s all I can get.

Death and Reflection

I found out today that one of my friends and former coworker passed away last night after a hard battle with cancer.  I had not seen her in over a month. And I hate the whole feeling of “I should’ve spent more time with her.”

Death always brings Reflection for me. It makes me reevaluate my life choices. It makes me take count of how much time I should be spending with my friends and family.

I hate that death has me do all of this. I should be doing this regularly anyways. I should be asking myself how long has it been since I’ve gotten in touch with a friend. Or if this food choice good for my body. I shouldn’t need someone that I care about die.

The Art of Not Knowing What You Have In Front of You

My nephew is stationed in Germany for a couple of years.  I usually feel a little bad when I don’t text him.  I worry that he thinks that I am forgetting about him.  Then I started thinking about his sister.  My niece lives in the same time about 5 minutes away from me and I haven’t sent her a text in months.

Let’s have a little perspective please.  It is important for me to stay in contact with my nephew who is stationed many many miles away.  But it is just as important to stay in contact with my loved ones that are here not too far from me.

Make sure you let all the people you care about know how much they mean to you.

Miss Vee’s Year in Review

Phew!! What a year!!

I questioned my faith.

Started this blog in hopes of finding myself and faith again

I realized I am a lesbian.

Became closer to God when embraced who I am and realized He made me perfect.

My daughter broke her leg and had to be in a wheelchair for 6 weeks.

Went to therapy.

Asked a gorgeous Kiwi to be my girlfriend.

Came out to my friends and family.

My nephew graduated bootcamp and is stationed in Germany and we are making plans to visit in 2017.

Made plans to meet my Honey Bee in person in New Zealand in June 2016.

I hope you all had a great 2015 and an even better 2016!!

Thanksgiving Special Edition Post

Thanksgiving was pretty cool this year! Let me expand on that.

First of all, Thanksgiving landed on my Honey Bee’s birthday this year. Even though they don’t observe it in New Zealand, it was still pretty cool to me! And I am so thankful for her and her kids!  She said that my mom posted a happy birthday post on her Facebook Wall. I love that!!

Secondly, the Thanksgiving lunch feast thingy wasn’t all that bad. I’m pretty much very socially awkward. I don’t like being around a ton of people. Especially acquaintances. This year we went to my oldest sister’s in-laws. We went there because my nephew was there and he’s leaving for Germany for 3 years on Monday. So, of course, I was going to be wherever he is.

My family stayed in the dining room which was very comforting to me. We had some laughs and good food. Then we bothered our kids with tons of pictures cuz that is how we do.

Thirdly, my kids and I went home and had a quiet evening. I watched a movie with my youngest as my oldest slinked away to my room to watch YouTube videos.  I also did some coloring cuz now I’m obsessed with this whole adult coloring your stress away stuff.

Lastly, my older sister came home with my baby niece. We watched the football game. Bears vs. the Packers. BEAR DOWN!!!

My Honey Bee sent me a text saying that the football game was on over there too. So we watched it “together”. It was so neat! Even her kids were cheering on Da Bears.  My sister was teaching her the rules of the game and asking her non football related questions. Which makes me so very happy!!! I love when my family interacts with my girlfriend. It gives me the way fuzzies.

Most importantly, DA BEARS WON!!! Woo hoooo!!! We won against the Packers in Lambeau Field on Thanksgiving during the whole Brett Favre honoring-retiring-his-jersey-number-thingy. *does a cartwheel poorly*

All in all, I can honestly say this was one of my favorite Thanksgivings.

Never In My Wildest Dreams

As time rolls along and as I’ve been telling the important people in my life that I am a Lesbian, I have come to the realization that I have THE MOST AMAZING friends and family in the world.  I never thought in my wildest dreams that this coming out experience would have gone so smooth.  I sometimes kick myself in my ass because I felt that my family would be not accepting.  But, I must move on and not drag myself down.

I must share this text message I received from a friend of mine who is like a mother to me.  I nearly cried.

Just an FYI, I have known for a long time and it pained me to watch you struggle with men.  I hope you know how hard it was for me to not tell you how to live.  Relate it to having to watch your kids learn something on their own.  I knew you were looking for acceptance from others but you really had to face your own demons and push thru it. I’m so happy you made it thru. And don’t you dare say, well why in the hell didn’t you just tell me? LOL.  Love ya kiddo.  Now go find your rainbow!!

I have found my rainbow.  She’s my beautiful kiwi woman that I can not wait to start my forever with!

I recently came out to my oldest niece face to face.  Her mom had already told her but it was awesome to talk to her about Honey Bee.  She is very happy for me and is excited to meet my girl.  It just seems like every person I tell the happier everyone is for me.  I just love this.

I wish that everyone’s experience was like this.  But sadly it is not.  I will be posting up a prayer request page so that if you or someone you know needs prayer you can post it up there.  You don’t even have to go into detail.  You can just post that you need prayer and I will pray for you.

I have so much love in my soul and I just want to share it with the world!