Pride 2017 Day One

Happy Pride Month! I want to tell everyone what I’m most proud of. I’m most proud of my lovely fiancee. Because of her, I can live my life authentically. She has accepted me for all of my flaws. I love her so much!

Posted in LGBT

You Go Shutterfly! 

EEEP!! Look! Lesbian couple!  

Mom and I LOVE Shutterfly. We are always getting free stuff (with paid shipping) from them. We’ve got tons of playing cards and magnets. We also get our photos printed by them for our scrapbooks. 

Today we received a notification that we can receive 10 free holiday cards. As I was perusing through the selections, I laid my eyes on this beauty. I don’t think I will ever be not giddy to see LGBT people represented on everyday things. It really warms my heart. 

So, you go Shutterfly!! 

Click here to check out all the cool things they have or download their app. Sometimes they have app only specials. 

Posted in LGBT

Living Stories: The L in Lesbian is for Love — Thoughts from Rev. Jay How

Creation is not black and white, it is amazingly diverse, like a rainbow, including sexualities and a variety of non-heterosexual expressions of behaviour, affection and partnering occurring in most species, including humans. The ability to reproduce is only a small part of the creation. Before God created male and female God made an even more […]

via Living Stories: The L in Lesbian is for Love — Thoughts from Rev. Jay How

Posted in LGBT

Coming Out Again and Again and Again…

Let me preface this with: I HATE coming out to Christians. I never know what to expect. My experiences so far have been really good. This past Wednesday I came out to my sister’s best friend. Let me give you a backstory for those of you who have been late to this party.

My sister’s best friend’s (I shall call her SBF from now on) teenage daughter came out to her 2 or 3 years ago. I can’t really remember the specific time line but I do know that it has been years since this happened. We are all in a Bible study group and sometimes there were words sprinkled here and there with bitterness to the gay community. So you can see why I was a nervous wreck to come out to her. Why do I have to you may be asking yourself?

Tuesday night we had family night and she attended. She is like part of our family. She’s been in our lives that I feel like she’s my sister. She started talking about starting the Bible study back up. My sister is doing a class called OSL (Operation: Solid Life) and she suggested we do that. So it was decided that we do that once our church launches it after Friendship Day which is August 28th. We are slated to start this in the beginning of September.

We all gathered outside and watched the girls catching fireflies. Our conversation goes towards my little niece’s birthday party. She is OBSESSED with Daniel Tiger so that is the theme of her party. SBF bought her some figurines of the characters that they are going to put on her birthday cake. She got them on Amazon. I told her that they were at Target. She doesn’t shop at Target because of her beliefs (transgender bathrooms are bad, mmkay.). I rolled my eyes and I felt immediately tensed. I told myself I have to tell her if we are going to be in this Bible study together.

That night I was so exhausted from the tension and cranky so I didn’t Skype EJ. I just didn’t want to subject her to that. I know she doesn’t mind. But I was just too cranky. I went to bed early but I woke up around 4am. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I knelt on my bed and prayed. I cried that I don’t want this tension. Take this away from me. I cried and cried. I only have these issues when I wrestle with other people’s feelings and opinions. I never felt this about any conversations with God.

I was still a mess in the morning. When I got to work, I knew I had to talk to SBF as soon as possible. I can’t promise to be in this Bible study if either one of us will be uncomfortable. I sent her a text to see if we could meet up to talk one on one after I got off work and she said yes. For the rest of the day I was a wreck. I hate coming out. It’s so dumb. I love who I love. Why do I have to explain myself? I already made a conscious decision that I wasn’t going to explain myself because I don’t feel I have to. I’m not going to change her mind and she’s not going to change mine.

She was running late so I was waiting in the parking lot for about 10 minutes. I walked out of the place we agreed to meet at when I saw her. I was so nervous. My eyes were already tearing up. I don’t want her to “disown” me even though I don’t agree with her views.

I told her. And she looked at me with sadness. “I love you,” she told me a big hug. She apologized that I would ever have a reason to be too scared to tell her. She never wanted that. She said that she is getting better with her daughter. She also explained that when she said those things that it was out of bitterness because this was her child. I’m paraphrasing when I say that she doesn’t want that life for her daughter.

I told her about the depression that I was under for years because of the shame and guilt that I felt. I felt that God would never love me. He didn’t answer my prayers when I told Him to take my gay away. When He didn’t answer, I tried to slut it away. It wasn’t until I was true to myself and who He created, that I finally felt free. Before I decided to accept myself, I walked around sad and defeated. The saddest and most defeated Christian. Who wants to be a Christian if we have to live like that? Yeah. I know… I’ve said this all before. Most recently, last Saturday. But I think I gave SBF some insight on how her daughter may have felt. She told me that it all makes sense because her daughter was depressed in High School and she never understood why. Now she knows why. She said she couldn’t imagine the internal struggle her kid was having. It’s nice to know that I may have helped a little with my story.

We both said our “I love yous” again and I told her about EJ and how happy I am. She was really happy for me and she said that’s all she’s ever wanted. We parted ways and I told my sister that I told SBF and that it went really well. She said “Well good.” I told her that we are both excited to start OSL. She calls me almost immediately to tell me that the pastor in the videos talks about homosexuality being a sin in first couple lessons and she didn’t want to catch me off guard and I quit the study. She wants me to stick with it because it has changed her life.  I told her it is what it is. We are studying the Bible and there is no denying that topic is in there as I was having an anxiety attack on the inside.

Oh Lord! Why do I put myself through this? *breathes into a paper bag*

Posted in LGBT

Such a Beautiful Post!

Like you, W and I we are heartbroken over Orlando. I sat at my computer much of Sunday trying to work and trying not to feel. I was unsuccessful at both. I had an overwhelming urge to do something. Anything. I could feel the itch on my skin. I glanced over at my filing cabinet […]

via Love — The Flannel Files