One Year Ago Today

Such of flurry of emotions had taken over me the day I landed in Wellington, New Zealand to physically meet the love of my life for the first time. First and foremost, I was scared to meet her. I was afraid there would be no spark after flying halfway around the world.

It was strange how I was feeling. We had talked via Skype and later Duo for almost 2 years. It’s not like I didn’t know what she looked like. I once told my therapist the fear that I had when meeting her for the first time. “Is she not your type?” He would ask me. “No. She’s very much my type.” I would respond.

Why was I so afraid? When I was in a relationship in the past, I would get all excited to come home and ravage my partners. But when I got home, I was like meh and went about my business around the house. Later, a big duh moment came over me. Clearly, it was because I wasn’t attracted to men.

Jumping back to me in the airport in New Zealand. I nervously looked around for her. I had gotten there earlier because I changed to an earlier flight in Aukland. She wasn’t expecting me just yet and I wasn’t able to text her to let her know because there wasn’t any free Wi-Fi at the Aukland airport.

I called her when I could not find her. She asked me where I was standing. I looked up and told her that I was in front of Gandalf riding on a Golden Eagle. She knew exactly where I was. I hung up my phone and looked around again.

There she was. My Honey Bee. Walking towards me. Instantly taking me in her arms and I felt I was home for the first time in my life. This is where I was meant to be. In her arms.

Our Relationship in a Nutshell. Me being silly and her laughing at all my stupid jokes.

One year ago today….

One year ago today, I was in the air on my way to meet the woman I would propose to someday. Who knew!

Left: 2016. Right: 2017.

Love is Love — Wet Feet Ministry

via Love is Love — Wet Feet Ministry

This is how EJ and I feel about each other.

New Zealand Things: Burgers

Yup.  That’s right!  They put beets on their burgers.  They put beets AND mangos on their burgers.  And guess what!?  It’s YUMMY!

Before I left on my trip, one of the doctors that I work for went to New Zealand during Christmas break (which is ideal because that is their summertime).  He told me to get a burger over there.  He said that they put everything on it.  And of course my goldfish brain, forgot why their burgers were any different from ours.  I remember that he said that they put eggs on their burgers.  But we do too.  He said some more things but I couldn’t remember the list of ingredients he told me.

We went to the mall the first day I got there and we walked past the food court.  At the McDonald’s in said food court, they had a sign up for the Kiwi Favourite Burger.  It had beet root on it.  BEETS!  That’s the ingredient the doctor told me about.  I was intrigued.  Although, it wasn’t days later until we went to Burger Fuel when I tried beets on my burger.

The Bastard.  That’s what the burger was called.  It had avocado, lettuce, tomato, mango, and beet root.  I ordered one without the avocado and toMAHto.  And boy oh boy!!  It was delicious.  I want to make burgers like that at home.  It was so good!

Later on in the trip, I did get the Kiwi Favourite Angus Burger.  That had the beet root and egg on it.  It was very yummy as well.  The Kiwi are such an innovative people.

The Bastard sans Avocado and To-MAH-to.

Burger Diaper aka the Doofer

Wellington Zoo

Kiwis are real, ya’ll.  I’m not talking about the fruit or about New Zealanders.  I’m talking about real live actual Kiwi birds.  They are so cute too!!  My first Sunday in New Zealand I find myself at the Wellington Zoo with my favorite Kiwi people looking at my first ever Kiwi bird.  It’s a shame I wasn’t holding a Kiwi fruit cuz that would be awesome.  One fact I didn’t know about Kiwis is that they are nocturnal.

The first enclosure had a kiwi that had lost his leg.  It was very dark and you could barely see him.  But people kept using they flashes on their cameras or their flashlights on their phones.  He was so scared and he tried to scamper away but it was difficult cuz he only has one leg.  I felt so bad for him!!  I did use the opportunity to get a picture of him when someone else was flashing him.  So, I’m not the bad guy, right?

Another animal that we don’t have at our zoo was a sun bear.  He was looking rather depressed because there was no sun.  In fact, it was raining.  L and I were smart and bought umbrellas on the way to the zoo.  O used his hood on his jacket.  EJ was soaked.  Nonetheless, Mr. Sun Bear was laying out on the branches trying to find some sun to bathe in.  All he found was rain.  Wow…. This zoo trip is sounding depressing.  It really isn’t.  It was a lot of fun.

Then we came upon two kinds of beautiful cats. The serval and caracal.  We don’t have these at our zoo either.  At least I don’t think we do.  I don’t remember.  They look like sleeker bobcats.  We have bobcats at our zoo.  I’m thinking that’s what I’m thinking of.  Anyways, there was a giant plastic grass thing on the side where the kids could pretend they were stalking us.  They were pretty good at it.

We saw all of the other sorts of animals that are in the zoos around my area like giraffes, emus, kangaroos, lizards of various sorts, tigers, otters (who were so adorable playing) and a red panda.  Of course there were some primates or various types as well.

It was a fun day despite the rain.  We stopped by a McDonald’s for coffee and hot chocolates.  A perfect ending to an awesome cold and wet day!

This is a Kiwi bird.

Serval

Giraffe

Caracal

Sun Bear depressed cuz there is no sun.

Red Panda

A Lizard of some sort.

Cute Playful Otters!!

 

New Zealand Things: Coffee

The first cup of coffee I had State side after my trip was… meh.  This is very weird for me because I LOVE COFFEE!!  Coffee is never meh to me unless it’s from the gas station until I had my first cup of New Zealand coffee.

Look how pretty!!  This was the time we actually sat in el Porteno to enjoy a coffee.

When I landed in Wellington and before we got back to her place, we went to her favorite little coffee shop, El Porteno.  I knew what I usually get in America but I really didn’t know what to order in New Zealand.  I stood there staring at the menu board like it was in a foreign language.  I knew all the words though.  I knew latte, cappuccino, Americano… ooh Mochaccino!  I’ve had one of those.  We ordered and we got it to go.  It was so cute!  It came with a little caramel candy on top of the to-go lid.  EJ gave me here because she really didn’t like those candies.

I took one sip.  OH. MY. GOODNESS.  It was so yummy!!  So so so so so so good!!  Then I was introduced to coffees in cups.  They were so fancy looking.  And it didn’t matter where you went — McDonald’s or the gas station or the café down by the beach.  They were all fancy with the foam with the different designs in them and the candies.  EJ’s preferred choice was the lattes but I loved the mochas.

We got these at the Te Papa Mueseum.  These were pretty but not as impressive in taste.

And now… as I sip my American coffee I sigh.  And I’m a little scared at the same time.  EJ
is a self-proclaimed coffee snob.  She’s going to take one sip of our coffee and fly straight back to NZ and never come back.  Ok.  I MAY be a little overdramatic.  I know my favorite coffee shop will be up to snuff.  I just don’t think I can take her to McDonald’s or the BP to get a coffee worthy of her lips.

The Answer

The answer is NOPE!!  I kissed her.  Just like our first hug.  I couldn’t really remember the events that led up to the first kiss.  I remember a month or so ago EJ had sent me a quote about the first kiss.  How the seconds leading up to the first kiss was the sweetest.  The pause right before the kiss.  I don’t remember the seconds or minutes leading up to the kiss.  I hope she was able to enjoy the pause.  I’m not sure there was a pause.  I just remembered telling her I couldn’t wait for the first date and I kissed her.  My body got instant goosebumps.  My lips were on fire.  I knew that I never wanted to stop kissing her.  But I also knew that we actually had to get stuff done around here.  Even though, I would have happily lived in those two weeks in her arms and in her kiss.

We had one night alone together before her kids came home from their grandparents.  Before you get that thought in your head about Brown Chicken Brown Cow, we are waiting.  I’ve done a blog post on how I want to wait before having sex.  So we kissed a lot and of course snuggled until we fell asleep.

The next day her kids came home.  We didn’t tell them when I was coming in.  I wanted it to be a secret.  It was her daughter’s
, L, birthday party on Saturday.  L was really hoping I could make it to her party but EJ and I kept saying that I wouldn’t be able to make it.  I knew all along that I would be there.  We were even planning the cake.

EJ came running down the hall in a panic.  “Oh my God!!  He’s here!!”  She was speaking of the evil one.  Her ex.  The kids’ father.  He hated me.  He hated that I was coming to visit.  He hated that the kids loved me so much.  I panicked and started to run into her room.  “No!  Just stay in the bathroom.  He’ll see you when he walks by my windows.”  So, I stayed in the bathroom.  Really hoping he didn’t have to come in here for some reason.  When he left, I made my way down the hall into the living room.

Me:  So, I hear someone is having a birthday party.

O (her son): Hi. Wait.  WHAT?

L:  *
squeals and smiles along with inability to talk*

Didn’t we do so good for first timers!?

Hugs all around!  They were really excited to see me and I was so excited to see them!  It was awesome!!  Next, we were off to the supermarket to see get the party food and essentials for the cake.  EJ and I were going to attempt to make a Tardis for L’s cake.  I had confidence we could do it!  And we did!  The kids loved it.  Most importantly L loved it.

Let me tell you about Cheerios.  No.  Not the corn circle cereal.  These are sausages.  The kids loved them!  I am not a fan.  And their appearance didn’t help the appeal either.  I had one.  Just one.  That was enough in my lifetime.  Thanks.

Our plans for the next day?  The Zoo!

Darling, Let’s Be Adventurers: Part Two

For a moment the world was in slow motion.  For a moment planet Earth only had two people inhabiting it.  For a moment nothing else mattered.  I really can’t remember if I was walking towards her or if I stood frozen there.  That part of the memory I blanked on.  I just remember:  Slow… slow… blink… I was in her arms.  This was a moment that was in the making for 2 years!  This was moment we wanted to share the most.  Kissing and sex… I’m sure all of that is great.  But our first touch.  Our first embrace.  This is what we have been waiting on for approximately 700 days.

For months, I had been so afraid of this moment.  For months, I’ve built it in my head that there has to be a spark when we touch.  I have to have the tinglies.  I better have the tinglies or it’s over.  I’ve never had the tinglies and all my relationships have died.  Funnily, I never factored in that all my other relationships have died because there was a penis involved even after I came out to myself over a year ago.  I was afraid that I wouldn’t want to hug her.  Again, I went back to thinking of when I would get pumped to see my kids’ father and that I couldn’t wait to get home to hug and kiss him but when I got home, it fizzled.  Again… penis.

I’m so glad that she came after me for the hug.  She wasn’t slowing down.  She was going to hug me.  And the verdict???  SO MUCH OF THE TINGLIES!!  It was us.  It was our arms.  It was our breaths.  It was our faces touching the bare parts of our necks.  It was our bodies.  It was us.  I’m sure we hugged for about 5 hours.  Time stood still.  And it was glorious!

We didn’t kiss.  We didn’t want to have our first kiss in the airport.  And I wanted things to be differently.  Things have been differently with us.  First difference I have to keep telling myself is that she’s a woman and not a man.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to be totally different than with a man.  Different emotions.  Different body parts.  Just different.  So, I wanted to do the old fashion thing.  I wanted to wait until our first date for our first kiss.  And judging from our hugs.   Our kisses are going to be spectacular!!  I couldn’t wait.   Will I wait?

She led me out of the airport to her car.  I can’t really remember but I think I grabbed her hand first to hold.  More of the tinglies ignited as we held hands.  I was so happy.  This is amazing.  I never had this.  I love it!  I love her!  I stepped out of the airport to survey my new surroundings.

Are you kidding me?!?  New Zealand is beautiful!!!  So much more different than the corn fields of the Midwest!  So many hills and mountains and water.  I grabbed onto EJ’s arm as we drove along the motorways.  I would sit wide-eyed staring at it all.  Oh my gosh!!  SHEEP!  So many sheep.  High up on the hills!  Sheep everywhere!  I found out on the plane ride to Wellington that there are 6 sheep to every person in New Zealand.  Crazy!! Right??

Another crazy thing was sitting on the right side without a steering wheel in front of me.  I got car sick… well… I should say car woozy when we took off driving.  It was completely weird to me.  I’m sure she’ll have the same reaction to our driving in the States.  Unfortunately, she is prone to car sickness.  I should have her steal some air sick bags on the planes over to have for the car.  HA!  I digress…

We finally got back to her house and I placed my things in her bedroom.  We couldn’t stop hugging.  We just kept squishing up against each other.  We couldn’t get close enough.  Hugging.  Hugging.  Hugging.  After talking about our plans, it sounded like date night wasn’t going to be happening for about a week.  We had so many plans with kids the first weekend.  And then we didn’t know when a good night for date night would be during the week.  Can I wait a week before kissing her???

“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined – to strengthen each other – to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.” ~George Eliot

To be continued…

Darling, Let’s Be Adventurers: Part One

I had every intention to blog about my adventures.  I even started a travel blog.  I had every intention to keep people in the loop on my twitter account that I made.  I think I have one tweet on there.  I had every intention to do lots of things.  But I did not want to waste one minute that meant being away from her.  We only had two weeks together until we are reunited on American soil in about 9 months.  (Phew! That’s a lot better than 2 years!!)

My adventures began when I went through airport security in my dinky little airport.  I had never flown internationally.  I really can’t remember what my experience was when I flew to Louisiana.  My anxiety was through the roof.  I intended to start my happy pills again in hopes to calm my anxieties through the flights and layovers.  I opted for prayer instead.

I boarded the Cessna twin engine turboprop and I began my prayers.  I could see my girls in the airport windows waving energetically and I waved back with the same intensity.  I did not want them to catch any wind that was scared to the point that I may just crap my pants.  Deep breaths.  Waving.  Deep breaths.  Waving.  The engines started and I kept waving and blowing kisses.  And when I was out of their sight, I closed my eyes and prayed.  I prayed for the safe flight.  I prayed that the pilots were guided by His hand.  I thanked Him for the incredible opportunity.  And then I opened my eyes.  With my eyes wide, I continued to thank Him for this opportunity to see His creation.  Throughout, the flight I was in awe of it all.  I am floating on top of the world and looking down.  The city doesn’t look so crummy from way up there.  I just stared out on it all.  Talk about appreciation!!

Let me tell you!  I had been freaking out for a couple days prior to getting on that tiny plane we affectionately (or not so affectionately) called a puddle jumper.  All over the news, it was about people getting hung up in the airport and missing their flights because of security.  I didn’t know what was in store for me at O’Hare.  I just prayed for a smooth connection and to zip through those security lines.  Little did I know that I didn’t have to go through another security checkpoint until I arrived in Auckland, New Zealand!!  I WAS OVER THE MOON!!  I was so much calmer about the flights.  In fact, I found out that I love to fly!  I didn’t even mind the 12 hour flight to Auckland from San Francisco.  I slept off and on.  And I was able to watch all the past season of The Big Bang Theory.  I was excited!  Moral of this part of the story: It’s worth the extra $100 to fly out of the little airport.

When I got to Auckland, the security through there was a breeze.  It’s all computerized.  I just scan my passport and smile at the camera and go on through.  I’m pretty bummed that I didn’t get my passport stamped.  But what can you do?  Auckland was funny.  I had to walk about ten minutes to get to the domestic airport.  It was a little creepy walking at 5 am by yourself… in the dark.  But I made sure I looked confident and like I knew where I was going.  I really didn’t have a clue on where I was going!  I got to the counter after going through a little security checkpoint and found out there was an earlier flight just boarding to Wellington.  I didn’t have to wait 3 more hours!!  But there wasn’t free WiFi so I couldn’t get a hold of EJ to let her know.  I tried to regular text her because I had an international text plan for the day but I guess I didn’t input the numbers right.  Needless to say, EJ didn’t get my message until I landed in Wellington.  Luckily, she was already there early.  I only had to wait for about 10 minutes.  Enough time to pee and get lost a little bit.

I sent her a message to ask her how to get out of this place.

Me:  I’m in Wellington!! I hope you are too!!  I have to pee.

EJ:  2 seconds 😀

Me: Awesome!!!  I don’t even know where the entrance is to this place.  Lol!

EJ:  Where are you?  😛

Me: Gandalf is pointing at me.  In front of the book store.

I look up and she’s walking towards me smiling.  A smile that I will never forget.

“Some memories are unforgettable remaining ever vivid and heartwarming.” ~Joseph B. Wirthlin

To be continued….

I Am Alive!

I am having a wonderful time! I thought that I would have time to blog and did keep telling EJ that I’m going to blog. Everyday I would tell her. But honestly, I’d rather spend time with her than in front of the computer. I also haven’t been updating my twitter account.

I’ll be updating when I go back to the states. Which is in a few days. *frowny face*