This week’s post has morphed into many different versions. After this past Sunday’s sermon at church, I think that this will be the best possible version to convey how I truly feel.
Way back in March of 2016, I was still attending my sister’s church. On one particular Sunday, we had a guest speaker because the regular pastors were in Hawaii. The guest speaker was the former pastor of the church and he is an older gentleman. And he loved preaching the fire and brimstone stuff (Blessings and Curses). This sermon has resonated so strongly within me that I still reflect upon the whole idea of God’s blessings and curses even nearly a year after that sermon.
But it wasn’t until recently that I started to really think about how it affects my daily life and my life with God. And I seem to have an annual “Is God really real?/What is the meaning of life?” showdown with myself. (Which I believe is completely healthy for Christians and should be done.) I was having a hard time grasping the existence of God from reading the actual Bible. I have found that I question God more when I’m reading the Bible. It’s so contradictory that it can be maddening. Then people of faith would just tell me “God is bigger than what makes sense.” Which I find to be a cop out. But that’s just me.
I started to think like how fellow blogger Family Values Lesbian (I miss that girl’s postings. I hope she’s doing well with her new marriage.) thought of God. He is like a clock maker. He created everything and left the rest up to us. At this point, I, also, started comparing lives. I started thinking of those who are blessed and those who are cursed.
If you really look at it, it seems as though God does not only bless the Christians and He does not only curse the sinners. A woman of devout faith can be stricken with pancreatic cancer and die within months. The most despicable human being can be granted the best health and long life. So the Clock Maker God was a viable option. It seemed like it didn’t matter who you are, blessings and curses are random and they just happen.
Not long after I started adopting this particular theology, we had a sermon at the church I am currently attending about the God we choose to believe in. Pastor Travis said that we could choose to believe in a Clock Maker God but that’s not who He is. Jesus came down to earth to tell us exactly what God’s character is. He is a loving God that longs to be in fellowship with us.
This past Sunday, Pastor Dan spoke about how Christians get tied up in the logistics of Christianity. We learn to translate the Hebrew and the Greek words. We memorize the laws but we never just sit down and have a relationship with God.
With all of that information, I choose to believe in a God that loves us. I chose to believe that He knows my name. I, also, believe that God doesn’t bless us because we are Christians and doesn’t curse because we are sinners. My theory is that being a Christian should make us better at handling both blessings and curses so that our lives are glorified in His name. So, I guess I believe in a little bit of both theology standpoints.
All I know is that I am a Child of God and it’s a wonderful thing to be.