The reason why I could go to Hell isn’t what most conservatives would think. I’m not going to Hell because next year I plan to lie with a woman as a man. Although, if she were a man, I wouldn’t be lying with her. ‘Cuz… gross. It’s not because I don’t attend church every Sunday or because I don’t read the Bible every day. No, none of these. My ticket to Hell is my struggle with is the two greatest commandments.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” ~Mark 12:30-31 NIV
I struggle with both of these. I do love God with all my heart and soul. Or so I would like to believe. But how can I love God if I can’t keep His second commandment?
For the past four years, that command has been tested to its absolute limits and beyond. How can I love a man who had manipulated the sweetest and most loving soul to a point where she believed she wasn’t worthy of anything. Or a man who allows his mother to call his 11-year-old daughter a bitch. The same man who criticizes his 12-year-old son of his weight. How am I suppose to love this narcissistic sociopath?
You see, the problem is that signed up for this as soon as I accepted Jesus into my heart. I must love God and love other as I love myself. Damn. Why didn’t I meet this man when I hated myself back in my teenage years and early twenties. I’d be off the hook, right?
I seethe hatred every time I hear of his escapades and tyrants. It’s not healthy. I’ve never hated anyone in my life until this man. What’s sad is that this hatred is like a gateway drug. Now that I’ve allowed hate into my life, it’s so much easier to hate others as well. I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want this hate allowed into my heart no matter how justified I feel it is.
So, how do I do it? I did a little research on what it means to love your neighbor when they are completely unlovable. I checked out some Christian websites and blogs. A lot of these featured stories of people who are “unlovable” like the neighbor who gossips or the neighbor that doesn’t mow their lawn. Really? I need real answers about real unlovables!
Even though I felt the unlovable neighbors not all that unlovable, the themes were all the same. We are to serve them. I am at a loss. I don’t even know where to begin with that. Then I read one blog post that added that we should pray for them. Prayer. That’s where I should start.
I have almost ten months to get this in check. I have ten months of preparation, of prayer, and of reading scripture. ‘Cuz the only the Lord knows how I can accomplish this.
How would you love your neighbor if you felt they were unlovable?