Me: “I chewed my fingernails.”
Honey Bee: “Awww honey. Stress/Worry or habit?”
I posted a while back about having fingernails because my girl helps melt the stress away. But sometimes when there are stressors piled on top of a worn out mom who is pmsing hardcore, it just happens. Technically, I still have nails on my right hand. It was the left hand that I went to war with. I know it’s a disgusting habit. But when I get this way, I don’t realize that I’m chewing my nails until the damage is done.
Nowadays, it’s an indicator that I need to step back and evaluate what is making me so stressed out. It’s funny how I can become so busy during the week that I don’t realize that I am stressed. I don’t notice until it’s the end of the week and I sit down and relax. My brain is like “WAIT! NO REST FOR YOU!! THINK ABOUT THIS!!”
As you recall, my girlfriend’s ex is using his super powers of ultra douchery to try to get a reaction out of her. Well, he certainly got a reaction out of me! I wanted to go off on him so bad! But what would that help? I’m over here in America. Honey Bee would be the one getting the brunt of all his glorious asshattiness.
I chewed my nails this morning. That is the first time I had ever chewed my nails in a long time. I looked down at the damage and instead of just looking at my fingers like it is a normal thing and bite them down so low that they hurt and bleed. A light clicked on. “Why am I chewing my nails? What is the root of my nervousness or stress? What do I need to do to correct this?” This is amazing! I stopped chewing my nails, filed them so there weren’t any jagged pieces that I could pick at later, and re-evaluated my well-being.
This also got me to thinking about a text that one of my very good friends had sent me:
There is nothing better than being high on life. Don’t get too high and don’t let low points discourage you. Respect and love yourself first!!!! That will keep you balanced.
My bad habit is keeping me balanced. I hope one day I won’t need to chew my nails to realize my life is a little off balance. But for now, I’m loving the fact that I can get down the root of the problem and work out from there.
There will be awesome days and there will be some not so awesome days. Just keep yourself balanced. Don’t let the bad days drag you down so that you don’t experience that good days.